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Anabolic Steroids: A man’s best friend?

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Want to get the Dr. Bruce Banners body when he turns into the Hulk? Well then gamma rays are the thing for you. Jk, that’d just probably give u mutations and possibly cancer, none of which can be used as a super power…so yeah no. My point? Steroids can’t and won’t get u that buff within seconds. And here’s the science as to why:

Steroids are synthetic counterparts of testosterone: a naturally occurring male hormone which basically makes a guy…well a guy.

Steroids act on the androgen receptors on which testosterone acts too so it generally gives the same results as that. Let’s skip the biochemical reactions involved and get to the end product, which is increased protein synthesis. Now proteins are the building blocks of almost everything in our body so it’s a very important component for those who work out and want to add to their body mass. Lean body mass to be exact. Which is less fat and more bulk aka muscles aka proteins. They also prevent cortisol, (a naturally occurring hormone) from binding to muscle receptors and thus prevents muscle breakdown and quicker recovery after a workout.This results in decreased fatigue of the muscles and more work done.

Steroids can be detected in your system for months and years after you’ve taken them. Yeah that’s a long time.

But contrary to popular belief, steroids alone won’t give u the Mister Universe bod that u might be opting for. Cuz frankly, these aren’t the vita-rays captain America was treated with. So yeah you will have to work out hard in sweat and blood like poor Bruce Wayne did for Batman, (refer to the picture above), months to years in order to see noticeable difference. What essentially happens when u pump iron is that it causes micro tears in your muscles, which are healed by our natural repair response by adding cells to the tear and the body over compensates and adds a little extra, so this mechanism of wear, tear and repair keeps on occurring which results in muscle mass. This process is accelerated with the use of steroids basically. Steroids are generally taken orally or injected. Injectable forms are safer than oral steroids as they have less liver toxicity. Also they are taken in cycles which depends on the dose of the steroid and its half-life (the amount of time it takes the drug to come to half of its concentration and eventually be eliminated). So it different for different types of steroids, so a consultation is important.

So who generally uses steroids? Steroids essentially are given by a prescription. For medical purposes to those people who have some kind of a wasting disease like cancer. Know that steroids is not a substitute for growth hormones and it will not aid your height or growth of erm…other androgenic body parts. On the contrary, it would actually stop you from gaining height because it will cause premature closing and calcification of bones so unless you want to be tiny, stay away from steroids.Unless of course, you’ve grown to your fullest or if they’re prescribed to u for medicinal purposes.

Being in your teens, please stay away from steroids.Unless you want to be a short, balding man with an okay enough body. Nah, not worth it at that age at least. So if you are a guy, wait till you’ve crossed the 22-23 years marks before using them. For girls, after 20. The main market for steroids is for the wrestlers, I mean because they are actually performers (I apologize for bursting any bubbles of people who thought otherwise), weight lifters, body builders, baseball players etc. I mean that’s why wrestlers still look so taut and buff at their ages (Mr. Hogan, retire already please?). But also why they are usually bald because steroids causes hair fall and receding hair lines.

Oral steroids can damage your liver over time, which can lead to hepatic cancer too. Not to mention acne and oily skin, no one wants that (trust me). Physical effects aside, it affects u mentally and cause bouts of anger and gets u moody and depressive. And long term use can also result in heart and cholesterol problems. And oh yeah let’s not forget gynaecomastia: which is feminization of the male body (dude, breasts) and erectile dysfunction. As for any girls taking them, well as they generally work in the same way as testosterone, it causes masculinization in females. Yup facial hair, voice deepening, acne and all that lot. So it’s not always a happy ending with them. Let’s all strive to play fair and try to stay away from ergogenic aids all together.

Pssst, want to know what your ancestors did to dope up before competitions? Ingested sheep testicles as a source of testosterone. Hard-core.


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